Truckin’ got my chips cashed in
Keep truckin’ like the doodah man
Together, more or less in line
Just keep truckin’ on

It has been a long strange trip the past year, making Jerry Garcia’s music and Bob Weir’s words seem pretty apt as my personal song for 2012. I was in Chicago and New Orleans in the last year. I had the light shining on me and I could barely see. But there’s only one way to go, right? The last line up there says it best.

I never saw the Grateful Dead in concert. I did have tickets for awesome seats on the field at Soldier Field with Sting opening in June 1993. It’s a long story but I made the right decision not going, although Jerry died two years later at age 53, which was a bummer. If I had made it to the concert, I’m sure it’d still be in my top five all-time shows. Elton John and Billy Joel the year after still is up there for me, so time doesn’t always dull the memory. And a few weeks ago, I added another show that was easily top five when we went to see the Dave Matthews Band. Holy. Wow. What a great show. It wasn’t a completely full arena and the vibe was kinda strange being way out in the suburbs (very odd people, those ones living outside the perimeter) and it was on a Tuesday night, but they rocked it. Non-stop. Just jammin’ like they should. It’s an element all the great shows have, just letting the music flow and DMB knows how to do just that.

The past year, that’s been important, just letting things flow. I feel like I’ve been getting better at that. I still need to work on it, as I can’t get so wrapped up with life. Just let it go, let it grow.

Having something to focus on that brings life back into perspective has been important. We had a couple cats that we rescued four years ago, and two months ago we rescued a dog. They help me remember life’s not just about what I think is important. Work, sports, going out, those are fun or necessary or sometimes just things I want to do. They don’t care. They just want to be petted once in a while and get their food on time and have a good place to poop.

They help me ease my mind sometimes. Other times I like to run. I actually don’t like running, but for some reason it’s something I do (once in a while, anyway) to relieve stress. And because I’m a little off-kilter. So much so that I ran a Tough Mudder in February, which was nuts. And I ran a Warrior Dash in October, which was tougher than the first time but not as hard as someone else thought (looking right at you Aaron). And then I did my second half-marathon on Thanksgiving Day. Still not sure why I did that other than it seemed like something I should do.

So there are the pets and there is running. For the past year, I’ve also been a Big Brother. Notice the capital letters there. I’ve been a big brother for a long time to many, many, many people. David, Renee, Crystal, Bambi, Amber and Jon can call me that, as do Howard, Christina and Adam. Now you know why my friends assume I’m related to more than half of the Rockford metro area (which has a population of about 250,000). But, for the past year I’ve also added the capital letters after I joined Big Brothers Big Sisters of Metro Atlanta as a small way to give back to the community and to give me something else to focus on once in a while instead of my life. Ian is now 9 years old and we’ve been hanging out since before Thanksgiving 2011. He adds a whole different perspective. And makes me wonder what the hell I was thinking about when I was 9.

Having some perspective has helped us through a couple tough times this year at Casa de Trickie. Sugar-Mama’s mama passed away in May. She was a tremendous woman, and strong. She never judged me even though I wasn’t from the South, was several years older than her daughter (who was 19 when we started dating), have a strange fascination with tattoos and probably a host of other things she could have judged me on. She was smart, too. She had everything I see in her daughter, and everything I love. Leaving us was better for her, but left a hole in our hearts and lives.

Sometimes we get the wrong idea about what life’s really about. Sometimes we let our work dictate the pace, run it even. Keeping perspective — letting it flow like a good jam session — is never more important than at those times. I had trouble with that this year more than ever before. It came down to the end when there was nothing I could do to implement change other than to change work addresses. It sucked. I felt like I let myself, my wife, my friends, my family down because I couldn’t go on. The crazy amount of support I got from that blog post shocked me. I can’t thank all of you enough for the kind words, both from friends and family. It made me feel that I could go on. You kept me truckin’.

And now it’s time to truck into 2013, right? The lyrics tell us so.

Truckin’ like the doodah man
Once told me “Gotta play your hand
Sometimes the cards ain’t worth a dime
If you don’t lay them down”

So, I’m going to play my hand. I’ve been setting myself up to be better; a better worker, a better friend, a better family member, a better man. It’s easy for me to write words here, but now it’s time for me to get a good jam session going in life. Here are some things I hope to do with it in 2013 (count them as my resolutions, if you want):

  • I want to be a better listener. I hear things, but I don’t always listen. Both in work and personal life, I want to be better at this. I get to start on Wednesday (yes Jan. 2) when I start my new job. I’ll be working at a small public relations firm here in Atlanta as a senior account supervisor. It’s completely out of sports, which has been my plan all along to move into the real world at some point. Age 41 is as good a time as any. The company works primarily doing PR for tech and energy companies. It’s time to listen and learn a little and use the (more than I normally admit) experience I have to start something new.
  • I want to work my stress off the right way by exercising and getting down to 195 pounds again. I’m probably about 215 (I’m weighing in tonight after the bowl games) right now and I’m not comfortable. It’s a far cry from the 245 I was back in 2006 when I first lost a bunch of weight, but around 190-195 is my comfortable weight. So if you don’t mind, please urge me on this year to stay on target and I’ll do the same if you’d like.
  • I want to build something from scratch, on my own. I don’t know what that means. It could be a dog house. Or a website. Or a better fly trap. I have crazy ideas every now and then to make things and instead of sitting around and doing nothing about it, I want to prove to myself that I can. Whatever it is.
  • I want to donate to my alma mater. I’ve never actually given any money back to Augustana, and honestly, I wouldn’t be where I’m at in life (where ever that is really) without my four years in Rock Island. I don’t give much to charity (not enough anyway as I’d like) so I’m going to make it a priority to give something back to Augie (even a small amount) and hopefully, at least in some way, help the college students of today. Man, we all know they need it.
  • Lastly, I want to eat a new cheese every month. I may also do a new cigar and bourbon each month, but I’m definitely going to try at least one new cheese for each of the next 12 months. Oh, don’t worry. You’ll know how this turns out because I’ll obviously blog about this one.

Hopefully those will keep me truckin’ hard in 2013. And my wish to all (seven) of you reading this is one great jam session in your lives too.