Man, people really like lists. I don’t know if it’s because it’s easy writing or laziness or what.

We just got back from Wal-Mart, which is always an interesting proposition. Tonight wasn’t as bad as some other times, and it was a quick trip anyway, but at the checkout counter, I had to just stop and ponder. All the magazines were just wearing me out with the math.

People… 149 New Fashion Looks for Fall

Style… 546 Tips for a New Look

(Some chick mag)… 157 Tips for a Hotter Bedroom

That’s a lot to plow through. And more than I really care to think about while I’m getting ready to pay for my paper towels, Diet Coke and power bars.

But it got me to thinking. What would I want to see when I’m standing there?

So here’s a top-5 list of the lists that would interest me and make me at least think about buying a magazine off the rack at a store.

  1. Ways to Cook with Beer… I can’t stress enough that it’s OK to cook without beer. There is not reason you can’t. But I have one simple question: Why? Everything is better with beer. Beer is good with beer. I can’t think of one thing that couldn’t be cooked with beer. Hell, I won’t eat spinach EVER, but I would at least consider it if it was cooked in beer. [On a side note, I saw this the other day and thought, “Hmm.” I’m undecided, but I think that I know which way I’d go if I’m at the Cotton Bowl again and walk by a stand where they’re making it.]
  2. Famous People Who have Appeared in Seinfeld… actually, I wanted to know this so much, I just went ahead and looked it up here.
  3. Ways to Use a Wedding Dress… There has to be more, but I saw this one a while back and thought it was pretty sweet. Not that I’d ever have to use sugar-mama’s dress like this. No. But, just as a scientific effort, it’s good to know.
  4. Things to Think About so You Don’t Have to Listen to Lou Holtz Talk… This could be a long list. Now, I’ll admit the man is probably a football genius. I will give him his props because he’s won at least one more national championship than I have, so good for him. And he knows the game. But I just can’t fucking stand listening to “himb talkb likeb thibs.” Sometimes I’d rather poke my eye out with a dull spoon than listen to him. And Mark May is just a d-bag, so that really doesn’t help either.
  5. How Many TVs are Appropriate for a Living Room?… There is a lot of debate about this in my house and sugar mama has made her feelings clear that one TV with picture-in-picture is just fine in the living room. Before we moved “of free will” down here, I had a setup that I liked in our basement at our house. The big TV was down there and I had another set right beside it. And then the laptop sat on the table so at one point during the NCAA Tournament last year, since I obviously wasn’t working it, I had four games going live at once, with two on the laptop. But I’d like to get a professional opinion on this topic and see how many are really appropriate.

So, there you have it. Those are just a few things going around in my brain and that I’d like to read about while checking out.

I’m “freelancing” now, so maybe I should just take some time and make these lists and sell them. Hmm.

Nah, that’s too much work.