Wasn’t there some old saying like, “Inspiration is like lightning that hits right by your feet. It comes from nowhere you’re looking, and makes a whole lotta noise when it’s done”?

Yeah, I don’t know what the hell that line’s about either, but I do know I got hit with inspiration about three minutes ago. And the noise at the end was me laughing my ass off.

I was wondering what I’d put on here to keep all you Offsuiters (there’s that damn nickname again. cheesey shit, eh?) coming back for more every day.

Which, by the way, thank you. I’ve had a fairly consistent amount of hits on this site over the past two weeks since we launched and hopefully we can keep it that way. As one former manager text me, “I don’t know why I read that shit, but for some reason I feel like I need to,” or something close to that.

I can tell you why though. Because of shit like today’s topic: awesomely bad movie scenes.

How did I come up with this? Well, like I said, I sat down what is now five minutes ago and was going to do a boring post on my day. Here’s what it consisted of:

  • I applied for one communications director job at a high end real estate firm
  • did the same for a senior public relations/marketing specialist position with the Center for Health Communications, which is part of the national Center for Disease Control
  • I also put together a couple proposals for a few freelance projects on a website I now belong to and hope to make a little money from
  • and I thought about writing another article (but didn’t) for what is turning out to be a pretty lame-ass online writing company I was accepted to, but I guarantee there will be some stupid crap another time that will let me write about that experience later.

Boooooorrrrrrriiiiiinnnnnnnnggggggg. But this is what my life has come to.

So for now, let’s get back to the bad movies.

Since yesterday’s video elicited a fair amount of commentary and response, I was thinking that I should just keep finding a weekly video topic to add in to whatever blog I do for that day. Maybe a couple each week even.

So today’s video topic, and the video topic for every Monday hence forth, will be awesomely bad movie scenes. Now, I will definitely take nominations for this in the future. But for today, I just did what anyone would do–I YouTubed it. In other words, I went to one of our former interns’ most favored sites and just typed in what I had in my mind at that moment: worst movie scenes.

(NOTE: Okay, that wasn’t the first thing I had in my mind, but I didn’t think that they had a video on how to make a beer can turkey….. Well, fuck me. I just went and looked and they actually do. Awesome.)

Before the page came up, I wasn’t sure there’d be much on this topic. Oh, holy shit. Man I was wrong. There is some great stuff there. But this was the first (and for today only) one I watched. There are so many layers of badness here. From the cheesey script to bad “I know you’re going to kiss me” pose to the punch to the bite.

And when you view this awesomely bad movie scene, just know that there is more than 71 more minutes of this movie left to watch. Un-fucking-believable.

Editor’s Commentary: I tried to embed the YouTube link here so you could watch it like yesterday’s clip, but the spineless jagoff who put the clip up had it disabled so you can’t embed, which is why you have to click the link and go to YouTube. Stupid fuckwad.

Editor’s Commentary II: Seeing as this was made in 1993 and I actually had nearly as much hair (which could be braided in the back of the mullet then) and about three more earrings than what he has going on, I’m not going to get into the wardrobe and makeup aspect of this film.