Oh, the shame.

There’s plenty of things that little line could be used for this week. After all, there is an election cycle coming to its conclusion on Tuesday — hopefully. And there is the shame that goes with my golf swing, which was on display at TopGolf on Saturday and was rarely on point.

Oh, and without trying to pile on, we could be talking about a certain football team that while likely still a top-25 squad, never deserved to be in the top 10 of the national polls. Unfortunately, I’ve personally been there, done that with that team before and it’s no fun, so I hate even bringing it up.

But no. In the end, there really is only one thing that can produce the week’s biggest shame: daylight savings time.

img_2824If you’ve followed my blog at all (and again, I thank all three of you), you will understand that there is only one time zone that actually matters. The one that was created better than all others. Without invoking any religious undertones, it really is the one that sets on high compared to the rest. The Central Time Zone.

That divide becomes even more prominent with the changing of daylight savings, when everyone gets all screwed up even worse in other time zones. Sure, it’s kinda nice to have sunlight a little earlier again. But when it’s already dark as soon as the clock turns to afternoon, well, that sucks.

The biggest shame isn’t in how it makes us humans feel though. It’s with those sweeter-than-smart animals like Felix. Big Buddy really has been a struggle bucket the past few days trying to figure out why he’s not getting fed at 7 a.m. and 7 p.m. like normal. He knows those times. His body really knows those times. He loves those times. He LIVES for those times. But he’s not getting his food at those times anymore, according to him.

No, by turning the clock back and giving a delicious, precious extra hour of sleep to us humans on Sunday morning, we’ve gone and tortured Buddy. He’s a soul on fire, withering in pain with the idea that his humans are withholding pellets of crunchy stuff and green beans, his normal nightly meal, for no reason at all. He’s mystified as to what he did wrong so much so that he’s randomly been going into his crate and staying there, thinking he’s done something horrific and that he’s being punished.

It’s OK Felix. We’re all being punished, especially those of us not in Central Time.

There’s definitely something mistaken about this whole paradoxical thing that they do with the clocks. I mean, if it was so great, why would some places in Indiana, Kentucky and Arizona not change every time? Instead, they just stay the course and let everyone around them catch up. Who would have thought that Indianans and Kentuckians would be more advanced than normal people? I guess that’s not fair to them though. They’re normal people. I mean, it’s not like they’re Iowans, who really are lucky their state isn’t reclaimed and just made into a recreational park. They have no clue.

In fact, Iowans deserve to have daylight savings time happen to them every month. Well, anyway, I digress.

Buddy didn’t see this coming, and definitely doesn’t feel that he deserves it. In fact, I’ve heard him sniffling and whimpering in his crate in his way of silent protest to this grotesque undoing of societal norms. And honestly, I’m with him. We, as a people, need to give this damn thing up and just stay on one time without moving it around. And all of us should be able to enjoy the fruits of living in the best time, Central Time.

Here’s to Felix adjusting — hopefully before March 12.