I feel like I’m a pretty honest person. I think most of you would probably say the same. I don’t really hold back, and I typically tell you what I think, how I think it and when it’s thought.
Basically, what you see is what you get.
Too bad that isn’t really what I get. You see, some times I lie to myself. I tell myself things I think I want to hear, or more correctly, what I think everyone else wants to hear from me. I’m vulnerable like everyone else. I want to make others happy. I like joking around, making people smile and making them feel good, even if it means putting myself down. It’s easy, especially when you’ve done it for as long as I have. That’s why it’s easy to lie to myself.
But we’ll get back to that. First, here’s a question: Do you remember what your first post was on Facebook? Have you looked lately?
I know, it’s strange, right? Looking back at yourself from a few years ago is kinda weird in a kinky way. It’s like you really don’t want anyone to know, but you know everyone else does know. They saw it then, and there’s a chance they may have looked back at it recently. Everyone looks. You do, and so do they. It’s like saying you haven’t Googled your name in the past 12 months.
What is that? You haven’t Googled yourself?
Liar.
We all do it. We want to know how others see us. It’s like seventh grade all over again, except that we don’t have the elaborate notes folded oh so carefully and passed through that girl with big hair and that guy with the Iron Maiden t-shirt (the real thing, not some replica a 21-year-old wanna-be slacker is wearing today) and the teased hair. Instead, we go online and we can find all the ways that our “friends” can see us. Then it’s just a matter of whether we’re looking at the information in the same light.
If you Google “Jerry Trickie” the first thing you’ll find is my LinkedIn account and my resume. The second one is my bio from Huskers.com, which makes sense as Husker fans are that damn psychotic that they would look at an associate SID’s bio enough to drive it to second in the Google rankings. Not surprising.
One day recently, I Googled that to see who I was. What did other people see when they Googled my name and what would they think if they hadn’t seen me in 20 years? I’m not totally sure about that second part, but I can only think that they would think I loved sports. And they’d be right.
Keep that thought.
Along those same lines, I started to think about how long I’ve been on Facebook. I had to go look it up. Apparently I joined Facebook on June 23, 2007. It was a pretty lame start because in June, July and August, I didn’t post anything. I don’t really remember it, but my guess is I was just a stalker, trying to figure out this new social networking thing and see what my athletes were up to and how they could get in trouble with it — and how I could keep them from doing it.
It wasn’t until September that I started posting on Facebook. And it was a doozy. One whole word on Sept. 21, 2007. That word should come as no surprise to anyone who has ever met me.
“Thirsty”
Three days later I posted that I was “busy” and two days after that “defeated” before my first multi-word post with “a lightweight”, which probably referred to the first post, came on Sept. 29. The next day I said I was “ready for Wrigleyville”. October started with me being “stunned by stupid actions” (Editor’s note: there’s a shocker considering the time frame in Nebraska Athletics history) and then it was only days later that I made one of the more lucid determinations of my life: “feeling origami is under-utilized in modern society”.
Oh, how we open our souls to those who are willing to participate in our own undoing.
Why does any of this need to be rehashed in 2013? Well, it’s pretty simple you see: I consider myself a pretty honest person and yet I’ve been lying to myself for years. I’ve perpetrated a fraud on my present and corrupted my future by being devoid of truth. But no more. NO MORE I tell you, George Costanza said, NO MORE. Or something like that.
I always said that when Sugar-Mama was ready to move on from Nebraska that I’d be cool to move into the real world and act like a grown up. But the real story was that that was a falsification. I won’t say it was an outright lie because I did try. I got a real-life job in PR and did real-life job things. I met some great people at work and really learned a lot from each of them and was doing fairly well.
But I was still living a lie because my heart never left college athletics. I know, I believe at least that I could do any job I really tried. The difference between doing it and doing it well is the “want to”. Having desire makes the difference between good and really fucking awesome. I know I can be the second when I’m working in athletics because it’s something I love. It’s my passion. Make fun of me for wearing the rose-colored glasses all you want, but before you do, think about this: do you love what you do for a living? I mean can’t breathe without it, feel completely naked doing anything else but once back in your element, your job, feel like nothing can stop you? Would you do anything to keep doing that job?
Well, I lied to myself because I thought that I should be in the real world, doing real-world things. But here’s the truth, finally: I’m better in athletics. Not just for me, but for everyone around me. I feel like I can make a difference for people there because I care about what I’m doing. And it’s where I’m happy. I breathe differently when I’m working with athletes and coaches vs. CEOs and CMOs. I never thought it would be so difficult, but leaving it in the past practically gutted me. For a while there, working peripherally in college athletics by being a journalist (and that’s being used loosely, at best) kept me satisfied enough, but it’s not the same. I knew it was never the same. And that’s why today I’m breathing so much easier.
In 10 days, I start a new job. I’m leaving client-side public relations and some great people I worked with (they definitely made it a hard decision) and I’m going back into college athletics. Timing obviously is everything in life and I truly believe that things happen for a reason. I think Sugar-Mama getting this job that brought us to Atlanta was the start of something amazing for the both of us. And I’m using the past two-plus years of real-world experience I’ve gained to do something bigger than I’ve ever done in athletics.
On April 10, I’ll start working at Georgia State University where I’ll be the Associate A.D. for Strategic Communications and Public Relations. First, take a minute and laugh at that title. Not because I will have it; I’ve earned it. But laugh because it may be the longest title you will ever see. There are 55 characters in that title. That’s five more characters than we have United States. It’s only nine characters fewer than the amount of teams that should be in the NCAA tournament. It’s barely fewer characters than my favorite lyrics from one of my all-time favorite songs (and which I have tattooed on my left calf):
You can take all my money, you can take all my gold;
You can never take my heart, you can never take my soul.
My heart and soul belong in athletics and, while it was a tough decision to walk away from the “real world” after just three months, it’s something I knew I had to do. I never honestly thought I had a chance when I first sent in my resume, but funny thing is that timing is everything. I’m here in Atlanta, and there’s a great athletics job open and I have the background to do it extremely well. I can’t worry about yesterday or last month, I just have to look forward and, as I breath so much easier, in less than two weeks, that will be done within an athletics department. Right where I belong.
Now, as for you, are you doing what you love? If not, what are you going to do to get there? Start now. There’s no better time.
Six-7 Offsuit 