Well, I guess it’s that time. For posterity’s sake, I’ll go ahead and update you on our new abode.
First, it’s coming along quite nicely. Actually, it’s coming along too fast. Every time we go over there, which is weekly, it seems like 40 percent more is done. So by the time we get to closing in early August, it feels like it should be about 280 percent done and we should have almost three houses on the lot.
That electric bill will suck.
Actually, we thought it was coming along too fast so we asked if there was any need to plan to move up the closing. We could do it in July, but it would just be a tighter turnaround because I’m gone for about nine days at the end of May, beginning of July and then gone again for 11 days in late June. Can be done, but won’t be pretty if sugar-mama has to do all the packing.
So, August it is.
The builder said it’s actually fine. While we think it’s going fast, they said there’s still a lot to do and we’re right on schedule, can’t even try to get it done much before the end of July. So it’s going to work out fine.
What’s not going to work out fine is my tight-ass pocketbook when it comes to the back yard. I’m a cheapskate at heart. Or more correctly as sugar-mama likes to say, I just think all prices should be in 1995 dollars. And why the fuck shouldn’t they? It’s my world, after all.
Well, they’re going to landscape the front, sides and back and it will be nice. But there’s a big bit of yard that goes up a hill that’s ours and they’re not touching that. So we’ll have to. Or more to the point, the people we hire will have to. With the backhoe they bring in. And tree cutters.
It’s pretty much a forest in the back. It’s not quite as big as what we had in Lincoln, and not as big as the back yard for the place we’re renting now, but it’s a fairly good size and it all needs to be taken out. And then tiered off and sodded down below and we need a fence. I’m already starting to remember how much owning a house sucks.
But we need to do it. Have to have it if we’re getting a dog at some point, and we are. Plus, there’s little to no chance that our shithead cats don’t sneak out the door when I’m going out to grill, seeing as they already go on our deck every time I grill now. So they’ll have to get used to not doing that, but in case they do sneak out, it’d be better to have at least some barrier from them running away. A fence should do the trick as they’re either 1) too lazy or 2) too big of pussies (ha, see what I did there?) to try very hard at running away.
Most days I think that that’s a good thing. Not always.
Actually, I don’t hate them anymore. I’m pretty partial to the idiots known as TeamCAC (crazy assed cats), especially my black cat, F’ing. Never thought I would be, but then again, I never thought I’d like asparagus as much as I do now. Strange.
Although, it doesn’t mean I like cats in general. I still don’t like the rest of the little fuckers in the world, just these two. So I guess I’ll let them come with to the new place. There seems to be plenty of room for them, and plenty of places for their hair to end up and piss me off. Whatever.
Anyway, here’s a little (read: not little at all) photo gallery with a bunch of pics we’ve taken the past few weeks since it’s been being built. Most are the same shots, week by week. I’ll be happy when the floors get put in and obviously when the toilets are installed.
No seriously, think about it: Where do you spend most of your time in your house? One of three places — either on your favorite spot on the couch or living room chair, in bed and, yup, you guessed it, in the john. This multiplies by 430 percent per day if you’re male.
Well, I’m bringing my own couch and living room chair, so I know where I’ll be in that room, although sugar-mama and I may have a Battle Royal to determine the arrangement of furniture there. Luckily we both agree we don’t want the TV above the fireplace. That’s the stupidest placement for a TV I’ve ever seen, and of course, our builder has outlets and cable boxes put on the wall above the fireplace for a TV. Jackhole.
So that’s one place I don’t have to worry about. And then my bed is coming with as well, so that’s a second. What’s that leave? The bathroom toilets.
I know it’s hard for any of you reading this to understand, especially my special Islamic friends, if you’re still reading along, but, breaking news alert: I’m not as tall as you think. Seriously, I know most of you picture me as a manly 5-10, but I’ll be honest here. I’m probably not more than 5-9 1/2. There’s a specific height a toilet needs to sit for a person of my stature and if it’s not the way I want it — mainly meaning so I can put my feet on the ground — I’m not going to be happy. And the last thing sugar-mama wants is for me to not be happy in either of those two rooms because we will be then spending more money to go get new ones.
That weekend. Before we move in.
And with that, I’ll just let you check out the place on your own by scrolling through some of our pics. It will be a lot nicer to get a street shot when the lot beside us is built, but that probably won’t be before we move in since it’s not even under contract yet.
But when it’s done, it’ll be a nice little street to live on, I believe. Maybe even for more than a year.
Six-7 Offsuit 