Well, it’s been a while. No, I’m not listening to Staind. I’m talking about the blog here.

I wanted to do something on Friday and even had a topic picked out. On Thursday night, I was looking around on one of the websites I pull some freelance jobs from and saw a really interesting one. And by “interesting” I mean completely hilarious. This website lets people sign up to post their jobs and then freelancers–writers, designers, marketers, etc.–bid on the projects and then they are awarded by the original poster.

Well, I was looking around and fielding a couple questions from one of the bids I’m trying to get, and I saw this other bid post. It was for a writer to help this “song writer” finish some stuff. Now most of the time, like about 90 percent of the time, this stuff on there is totally legit. It’s small businesses looking to outsource projects but don’t want to go through a firm and pay more money.

This guy, however, is just a whack-job. And I seriously am considering putting in a bid just to see what the “song” looks like right now. Here’s his original post:

I am a love song writer and need someone to re write a song to make it good enough for t.v standards I have taken song writing lessons and have a full song writen out of it just needs some touch up. I aint just going to hand my song over to anyone must be very professional and know how to write to the ladys. I would like to read one of your songs to see if you are qualified. sorry for the high expectations but i have hired other writers to work for me in the past on movies and songs and had to fire them for not meeting my standards. I will pay good money for good work. if you think you are professional and want to write a song good enough to make it If it makes we will both be rich who ever writes it.

Ah, free market societies.

But I didn’t post any of this on Friday because we had a complete meltdown. And by we, I, of course, mean I did.

I went and returned our wireless router to Charter freaking Communications and told them to take that off our bill. I bought a new modem for $30 instead of paying $60 a year in rental. Then I came home and installed it thinking I could get up and running with my wireless router.

Yeah. No.

The router wouldn’t reset. I found the numeric address (the number one, not a name, like 198.162.1.1) to reset everything for the router and it seemed to reset. But nothing. Then I called Charter freaking Communications and they said that everything was going through to the modem fine. Of course it was.

So, I sat there from about 5 p.m. to, oh, 12:30 a.m. fucking with that stupid little machine. I gave up. And in the process didn’t write a blog.

Then I got up at 8 and went to Wal-Mart and bought a new router and came home and it worked great. So we set up the two big TVs in the living room and had Tennessee-Florida on one with cable from Charter freaking Communications and then plugged my laptop into the other to watch the ECU/VaTech and then the Huskers/Washington games on ESPN3.com.

I would say it was these games that kept me from blogging, but it was more the Budweiser in all honesty. And Sunday, I just didn’t feel like it. Oh well.

And since I forgot last week’s Worst Movie Scenes Ever, here are a few in a little combo deal. The only way those shark scenes could have been better is if it was Lil Red popping up and eating the people.