You ever have bad nightmares? I’ve had trouble sleeping lately. Not sure why, but I just haven’t had an easy time getting to sleep. Last night it was more of a bad time staying asleep.

I went to bed around 11:30 and was still awake at 1 a.m. Boring. Well, once I fell asleep it was anything but. It was downright scary. I woke up only because sugar mama was pushing on my arm telling me to get out of bed. I was practically screaming. She said I was sweaty and being really loud. I was terrified.

I remember most of my bad dreams the next day. Last night, it was me and a friend from college. She was sitting there at a table with me. I think we were at a psychick, which is something I’ve never done. It showed.

In the dream, I was laughing at everything they were doing.

It was something with a set of cards, like doing a reading, I guess. I don’t know anything other than I lost.

Instead of listening along and believing in the psychick, I was watching the cards and openly rooting for a full house on the river. I had three threes and queen after the turn. The problem: queens are my enemy. They’re the worst card. The queen of diamonds is my mortal enemy. I always know when I’m going to lose because it seems like I lose every time I get diamond queen. That’s part of the reason one of the two cards tattooed on my arm is a queen of diamonds. Just a reminder. Bitch.

Anyway, we didn’t get a chance to see the turn because of my open disdain for the queen of diamonds, or maybe my laughing at this whole process. Instead, the psychick’s eyes started spinning and then this vortex emerged in the middle of the table. It was swirling, and looked like something from ‘Lost in Space’ (Danger, Will Robinson, Danger… loved that show). The vortex just started sucking everything into it and I was about to fall in when I woke up yelling.

Yeah. Fucked up. I know. It’s okay if you don’t believe it, but believe this. MC Hammer is back. Just check it out here and go to the Management page. Now that might be even weirder than my nightmare.

How’d I come across this awesome nugget? Isn’t it obvious? I was listening to a fantasy football podcast today while I was writing an article for “work” and the dudes brought the Hammer on.

Yup, MC Hammer on a fantasy football podcast. No shit. He was at ESPN and doing the full car wash, as it’s called, hitting TV, radio and Internet entities.

I don’t know how the hell it happened, but somehow he got into MMA management and now is a promoter. Crazy. I had to listen because it was 2 legit to quit (had to say it).

But since that was so bad, I’ll quit there. Out.