I was standing in line at the checkout counter a little while ago and there were two chicks with full carts ahead of me. I wasn’t in any hurry, so I didn’t feel the need to switch lines like I might at another time. What did I do instead? What any guy would do. I knew I had time so I looked for hot chicks on magazine covers.

Unfortunately it was fruitless.

But I did see a soap opera magazine and it made me think back to when I was a kid. I know. Strange, right?

Well, when I was like 11 or 12, I was at home in the summer and my step-mom wouldn’t really watch much during the day except game shows. The Price is Right and Joker’s Wild and reruns of the Dating Game. Whatever. But for some reason, that summer she started watching one other show on a regular basis: The Young and the Restless.

For those couple months, I was stuck. I didn’t get to control what channel we watched. And hell, don’t even say ‘control the remote’. I’m not sure if they were widely used yet then and we sure as hell didn’t have one. Or at least I didn’t have one. I, on the other hand, WAS my step-mom’s remote control.

What was I going to do? I couldn’t run away. (SIDENOTE: How do I know I couldn’t run away? At the time I didn’t, but I learned. The summer after this one, when we lived in the trailer, we were coming home and I was pissed about something. Just livid. We lived in the back of the trailer park and when we got home, I got out and walked around the opposite way of my parents and kept walking. I got all the way back down to the front of the park before my dad pulled up in the car. I think my ass still hurts from that one.)

So I couldn’t go anywhere far. You think I should have gone outside and played or something? Hell no. I was a fat kid. That year was the only year I ever played soccer. I wasn’t terrible. Actually, I was probably OK for a fat kid. And my parents didn’t really have money for me to play, but they still encouraged it. So why didn’t I play again? You should see the pictures. I have the team picture still and I looked like a fucking bumblebee. We had black shorts and bright gold shirts. I have (not had, have) black hair and then add in the shoes. It was like I was a big fat bee. No way was I going in public like that again.

Anyway, it was way more cool to stay inside and just be fat and lazy. So I joined the housewife crowd and watched soaps.

I still remember that was when Nikki was pretty young and her and Victor were just starting to get hot and heavy. That was more than 25 years ago and those same two are still on the damn soap magazine at the store today.

How the hell did one of them not get shot and killed off? Or run off the road off a cliff? Or electrocuted. You know, all the ways that soap actors die. Although, maybe they did. It’s soaps. They could have easily died a few times since I last watched back in the early ’80s and then come back. Hell,  it could have happened a couple times.

Anyway, I thought it was kinda funny that the same two people, the first ones I remember on that soap from so long ago are still the ones on the show and haven’t been killed off yet. Boring, sure. But it’s all I got for today because I’m sure you don’t want to know how yesterday’s blog turned out.